Finding Your Place

Emphasis on YOUR. If it truly is yours, does it need to be found?

This phrase has been used to describe a feeling of belonging and acceptance, mainly by others. But what if all along, we were meant to feel that way with ourselves?

I have spoken to several people in my life who told me that they cannot stand to be even 5 minutes alone at home. They would rather stay out all night with strangers than sit with themselves and their thoughts for even a second. Why is that? Why do we want to be wanted by others? For validation? For fear of abandonment?

This might just be an excuse, but I have come to realize that not all of us are meant to be accepted by society. Personally, many of the values that I have held near are frowned upon by others. I find myself having to explain them, when the fact that I value them should be enough (shouldn’t it?). To some degree I would consider myself a loner. Sure, I enjoy the company of others, and I am what you could call a social butterfly. I can get along with pretty much anyone. I am adept in code switching and mastering the humor of different groups of people. But when it all boils down to it, I often find myself alone with my thoughts. And the thought of that does not scare me at all. At times it makes me increasingly aware and sometimes cynical of people’s perception of my being. And that is fine. And of course there are moments that, according to society, must be shared in the company of others to reap the full benefit. Like traveling, trying new activities, attending events in town. As I have gotten older, I have come to enjoy experiencing those things alone.

I think it is important to learn how to be by yourself for whatever reason. It really is the only time you can reflect on “your place” in this world. We spend so much of our day being told who and what we are. By the media, our family, friends. But who do you say that you are? And how does that fit in with your perception of reality? It should not scare you. It should empower you.

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