What I Learned in 2018

Artwork from Art Basel, Fontainebleau. Photo taken by Adaola O.

2018 was a particularly interesting year for me. Why, you might ask? It was the first time that I was really real with myself. It was the first time I stopped making excuses for the inexcusable behavior demonstrated by others in my circle and outside my circle. Let me explain.

I had to reckon with my definition of being a friend. What did it mean for me to be a friend to others? What did it mean for me to call others my friend? Up until that point it had unfortunately become a loose term that I distributed too freely and without much consideration. Basically if someone was nice enough to me and could hold conversation, they could be my friend.

What is my new definition of a friend? Someone who wants to help put you on when they see you doing something positive with your life. And not only do they WANT that for you, and TELL you how proud they are of you, but they DO something about it. They shout your business out on their social media. They patronize your business, support your ideas, and overall play an ACTIVE role in your success. If your current friends are not doing that for you, then what is the basis of your friendship? Is it gossip? Is it clubbing? Drinking, smoking, eating out every weekend talking about anything but how you can progress as an individual? To me that is just a time-waster. Does your family put you on? Do they support you? Because the same applies to them, to a higher degree I might add.

And of course I asked myself how frequently I was doing the aforementioned positive acts for others. I can honestly say that I did a pretty good job of supporting my friends or people I worked with (photographers, artists, etc) and publicizing their work on my social media or to contacts I knew could help them. But this year I plan on taking it up a notch with my new podcast series (stay tuned!). I challenge you to ask yourself the same questions and DO BETTER in 2019!

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